So we’ve been a little quiet recently, things have been pretty busy here but as Teddy is sat here snuggled up to me watching The Snowman for the third time today (I don’t remember it being this emotional when i was a kid?!) I’ll give you a quick update on things!
Toby isn’t great at the moment, he’s struggling, I’m not entirely sure why but he’s not great in himself. One minute he’s giggling his head off and the next minute he’s crying his eyes out and being non-verbal he can’t express what’s going on in his little head. When he’s like this, we also have more frequent meltdowns and he can become physically aggressive too.
He has been quite particular about things that I didn’t realise actually bothered him. For example shutting the washing machine on his way past, trying to put the roof on Ted’s ark (although he doesn’t have the fine motor skills to actually do this) and this morning he tried to switch the light off in the hall as I carried him out to his taxi – again his fingers aren’t strong enough to press the light switch. This is because he’s never really played with anything other than his iPad which doesn’t require him to apply much pressure. As normal as these things sound, it as been encouraging to see him interacting with the world around him and showing preference to things being ‘as they should be’. I think some of this is him trying to control the environment as obviously things are ‘different’ at the moment in the run up to Christmas. We haven’t put our decorations or proper Christmas tree up at home, Joel has a mini fibre optic one on top of one of our units and we have a nativity set but that’s it. Things however are different at school and around him and as he’s not a fan of things changing he finds this time of year challenging. Even at Adventure Valley which is somewhere that he visits frequently, you can see him glancing at the decorations in the soft play area and thinking to himself, ‘thats not how it should be!’
Because of all this, he is also not sleeping very well. He eventually cried himself to sleep last night snuggled up in our bed with me and then got up sometime around 4ish and hasn’t been back to sleep since.
However we did have a beautiful moment over the weekend. Toby let Ted ‘share his space’ for the first time ever. Toby had my phone whilst I was sorting tea and I kept popping my head around the door to check him and I was amazed to see Ted with his head snuggled in to Toby’s shoulder. Again for most people this wouldn’t be a big deal but for our boys it felt huge. Toby struggles with other children, he’s very cuddly and affectionate with adults but children are loud and unpredictable (especially Teddy!) Like with most things, Toby does things at his own pace and in his own way but even the little things are worth celebrating as for him it’s a pretty big deal.