So since 3am this morning Toby’s been bouncing around in a swimsuit, trying to wrap himself up in a curtain whilst watching clips of Thomas in Japanse…standard Wednesday morning really!

Monday marked the end of the Summer holidays for all of us as Joel and Toby headed back off to school. I would love to tell you that everything has been great since getting him back in to his normal routine however it’s been a bit of a bumpy ride..!

Although things are the same in a lot of ways; same uniform, same taxi driver and escort, same school etc he’s moved up to a new class with a new teacher and support staff and there’s two year children in his taxi too which is now a mini bus rather than a car. Little changes to something familar and safe can have a pretty big impact on Toby and sometimes it can take him a little while to adjust. Transitions are tricky.

I’ll spare you too much detail but his behaviour has been pretty challenging at home; hitting Teddy, throwing things about, screaming, not much sleep and last night I turned my back for two minutes and he had smeared all over our bedroom…yes curtains, walls, bedding etc! Not nice…this is why his wearing a swimming suit at the moment as its about the only thing he can’t get out of…and I can not cope with him taking his nappy off one more time! 

I do just have to keep reminding my self that he’s stressed and has no other way of expressing that…and I have to keep praying for grace for myself to help me love him in the best way possible. 

It must be hard having so much going on in your head and to be worrying about changes yet not being able to communicate or discuss any of it. I had to stop myself butting in to a conversation yesterday with some parents who’s children had just started reception and they were complaining that they couldn’t get any info about what the kids had done at school or what they had for lunch…I felt like launching in with a, -“well what if you had never heard your child speak ever?” or “What if you never knew what was going on in their head or how they were thinking or feeling?” or even, “What if you didn’t even know what their voice sounded like?” I resisted. It is times when he’s so distressed that I find him being non-verbal the most upsetting as I just want to help him and often I don’t even know what the issue is. 

That all sounds a bit moany…we are ok…just adjusting! Anyway look how much he’s grown since he started school just after he turned 3…it’s bury to hide the name of his school…